I have to warn my readers that this blog is a little soppy, I want to write everything down while it is all fresh in my mind – How I am feeling, my emotions, its a personal blog entry today but I don’t mind sharing it with my readers as someone may be able to relate to how I am feeling, and my words could possibly provide some comfort and thought.

6:45am Thomas woke with his usual babble I could hear over the monitor, I waited a few moments trying to wake myself up hoping he would settle back down, but he didn’t so I got out of bed and went to his room to see him, via the bathroom to splash my eyes with some cold water He gave me a huge beaming smile between the bars of his cot, a smile big enough to put any mum in a good mood. We went downstairs where I proceeded to do the usual morning routing – Changed nappy, baby TV to keep him amused on his mat while I prepared his bottle and Ready Brek. After his morning feed I turn the TV off and sit Thomas on his play mat with cushions behind him in case he wobbles. I sit with him and play with him for a while, I then make myself a drink and leave him to play by himself with me sat on the couch watching.

This morning I decided to go a little crazy like you do to get a smile from your baby! Thomas has started to bob his head to music, he is so funny! I put some music on my laptop and had a boogie with him, he loved it. By this time it was getting near 9am he usually goes down for a morning nap at 9am, so to calm the mood I played our favourite sleepy song – Somewhere Over The Rainbow. I sang and cuddled him on my knee, before I knew it I found myself crying! Not with sadness but with love. I was overwhelmed with emotion as I looked down on him, the amount of love I have for him, How I would do anything for him! How Nathan and I have created such a beautiful baby I was full of emotion. Trying not to let him see me cry I wiped my eyes when the song had finished and carried him back to bed for his nap. He was tired out after a morning of fun and song, it wasn’t long before he fell asleep.

I keep thinking about why my emotions were so high this morning, we have listened to that song numerous times before without provoking such feelings. I am due to go back to work part time next month, Thomas is spending a couple of days a week with his Grandma which I know he will love. But I’m not sure if I am ready, its a huge step which has been playing on my mind now for some time now I love him so much. I am sure I will have many more moments of emotion over the coming months.

It is a hard thing to do, go back to work after having a baby – What are your thoughts on this topic? I would love to hear your thoughts, are you going through the same thing?