It was the evening on the 20th December, the ground was deep with snow,  Nathan and I had just brought our little bundle home all wrapped up in his winter suit. After literally being kept awake by Thomas being extremely unsettled every night we were in the hospital; I was so relieved to be home, where I had the support from my husband and family. The first night we were home Thomas slept brilliantly, he slept the whole night until mid morning the next day! I couldn’t believe it, I remember thinking that Nathan would think I was making up how unsettled and clingy Thomas was in the hospital. He was a different baby at home, it was like he knew he was at home, the familiar chatter from the budgies in the front room probably put him at ease.

The full nights sleep and lie in was just what I needed, I was exhausted I needed some “Me” time – A good rest, a nice bath and a good meal just what the doctor ordered. In the hospital, I would get a meal but often ate it cold as I was busy nursing a fussy baby. The next day family came round to visit, we brought Thomas moses basket downstairs, he slept most of the day he was so cute I couldn’t stop looking at him all day!

4 days before Christmas it suddenly dawned on me that we still had Christmas presents to buy, the snow was still on the ground it was too cold to leave the house. I wrote a list of basic presents for family members and sent Nathan out to Asda to do literally all our Christmas shopping in one store. The last few days before Christmas was fantastic, me Nathan and Thomas stayed in the warmth and enjoyed some valuable family time getting to know each other. I didn’t even have to make Christmas dinner, we went to Nathans mums where we had a brilliant family feast! Thomas wasn’t sleeping particularly well at night, but I was sleeping when he slept during the day when I could.

The holiday period was over before I knew it, Nathan had to go back to work, as did family and friends, things were returning to normality. The weather continued to be cold with snow storms, it was too cold to go out of the house, and the snow was so deep I couldn’t take the pram out so I stayed put. I became obsessed with keeping Thomas warm, the heating was on practically all day and night, I remember being so worried that he would be too cold. I remember waking up on night and leaning across to Thomas in his moses basket, his hands felt cold, so I put his mittens on.

Looking back now everyone suddenly going back to work after the holiday period and the weather preventing me from leaving the house, or family visiting as the roads were very bad. I can see how I started to feel a little low, I wasn’t sleeping well at night, during the day I couldn’t get out, I seemed to watch the same mundane daytime television programs. I started to feel trapped, Nathan works for himself he was busy catching up from a large backlog of work from before Christmas, he had to concentrate so I was up with Thomas throughout the night doing the feeds, I felt alone and trapped at that time – Like my life was on hold, I couldn’t progress or do anything,

Things gradually improved as the snow melted I was able to get out of the house with Thomas, visit family and begin to get back to normality again, going to the shops and starting to enjoy life with Thomas. My life was taken off hold and the play button resumed.

We’ve all watched the typical birthing programs and bringing baby home programs on the televisions at some point throughout our pregnancies. The programs I watched often featured American families bringing their newborns home, family and friends coming round bringing food, everyone sitting round a big table celebrating the new baby sounds perfect! Although I’m sure you’ll agree things don’t always plan out so perfectly.

Thomas was born on the 18th December, we were discharged from the hospital on 20th December, we had to stay in a few days mainly because I had a section. We were told that we could go home around 2pm I was excited as I just couldn’t wait to get home to begin family life with our little one! I instantly began packing my bags and getting myself ready to leave, a couple of hours passed and the doctor came to see me, she was happy with my stitches and discharged me. We were then just waiting for the pediatrician to come round to look at Thomas and to discuss the possible hernia I mentioned, which was identified when he was born. Well we Wait….and waited…It must have been about 6:30pm when the pediatrician finally came. She was happy with Thomas, he had his referrals in process so he was given the OK to go home, I couldn’t get out of the hospital quick enough.

I don’t know if you feel the same way but when your in hospital its like your in your own little bubble, protected from the rest of the world. You don’t know fully what has been happening outside your bubbled environment. Cold Fresh air on my skin was a novelty I hadn’t felt in a few days! I knew it had been snowing over the days I was in hospital, although I wasn’t expecting the blizzard and snow we were faced with outside the hospital! Thomas was wrapped up like an Eskimo in his car seat, Nathan left us in the foyer area whilst he got the car as close to the door as possible I walked to the car with Thomas like I was walking on ice, strapped him securely in the back of the car and sat myself next to him.  Nathan then turned on the engine and began to pull away, it was the worst journey in my life! We the car kept skidding and locking up, my heart was in my mouth, as we drove at a snails pace out of the hospital grounds. Luckily the main roads outside the hospital had been gritted, they were a little better, but it was still a treacherous journey one that I wouldn’t want to repeat with the most precious cargo in the back – A new born baby!

We got home around 7:30pm it was dark and cold outside, but the house was lovely and warm. Nathan had cleaned round which I was relieved about, cleaning was the last thing I wanted to do. I remember all mine and Thomas things practically filled the living room! We all settled in for the night, put Thomas to bed then Nathan and I had a glass of Martini Asti to toast our new arrival and the future of our family life. I was home with my two favourite boys I couldn’t have asked for anything else.